04/10/2008

One of Formula One's All-Time Greats

Golf Quiz: 1) Only seven players have won at least one major
three years in a row. Give the last five. 2) Name the seven
players younger than 30 who have more than one win on the
PGA Tour. [Boy, you have to be a junkie to get this one. Hint:
At least one is foreign.] Answers below.

It’s Kansas!

Wow, what a choke job by Memphis on Monday night as the
Tigers were up nine points with 2:12 remaining, and up three
with 10 seconds left. Coach John Calipari said, “Being so close
to the national title, to not have it, I feel bad for our city and our
players, because they know we had it.”

Joey Dorsey said “We beat ourselves.” No kidding. Chris
Douglas-Roberts and Derrick Rose missed 3 of 4 free throws in
the final 16 seconds (Memphis missed 4 of its last 5, overall, in
regulation), while for the game Kansas went 14-for-15 from the
line.

And then Memphis failed to foul Kansas as they brought the ball
up in those final 10 seconds, allowing Mario Chalmers to get off
a three-pointer with two seconds to go, this as Calipari had two
timeouts in his pocket, one of which would have been useful in
reminding his players to foul the Jayhawks! After the game,
Calipari was unable to say just why he didn’t call timeout.

Lastly, I imagine 90% of you watching the title game had the
same impression Carolina fan ‘Shu’ had in observing Coach Roy
Williams in the stands wearing a Jayhawks logo on his sweater.
Yes, we all know the long connection to Kansas, but this was
totally inappropriate. And Williams absolutely dissed his own
team in comments made at halftime, taking zero responsibility
himself for the hideous Tar Heel effort in the semis. [More on
this still developing story next time. Williams is taking some
well-deserved heat from the home folks.]

[On the draft front, the Los Angeles Times is reporting that
Kevin Love and Darren Collison of UCLA are coming out.]

Kenya

This is an awful, ongoing story and while some of you may
wonder why it’s in Bar Chat, the Rift Valley of Kenya, scene of
some of the most horrific violence since Kenya broke up over its
disputed presidential election results, is home to some of the
world’s great runners, including the likes of legends Kip Keino,
Moses Tanui, and Paul Tergat.

Runner’s World sent a reporter* to the Rift Valley as the
violence broke out last December and January. His goal was to
get to the towns of Eldoret and Iten and having taken a flight
from Nairobi to Eldoret, he is picked up by Jacob, a taxi driver
who belongs to the Kikuyu tribe (Kenya’s biggest ethnic group,
and the one most widely dispersed throughout the country).

“Many (of Jacob’s) neighbors come from other tribes. Two
weeks ago his next-door neighbor – a man he thought was his
good friend, a man with whom he had broken bread a hundred
times, a man he would often drink beers with while their children
played in the backyard together – burned down his house. Jacob
was forced to move his family, carefully and clandestinely, on
back roads that night, out of the Rift Valley Province to the
Kikuyu-dominated Central Province, where they would be safe.”

Jacob gets the reporter to within half a mile of Iten and drops him
off because it is too dangerous for Jacob himself to go further.
The reporter then gets a shared taxi, a matatu.

“Dozens of makeshift roadblocks lie on the road from Eldoret to
Iten. Some are built from the black skeletons of burned-out
vehicles, some from boulders dragged in by tractor, some from
trees torn from the ground. At each roadblock, there are ragged
youths waiting to stop motorists, and a score of potentially evil
accomplices watching from a distance. They are not Kenyan
police or military. They are the local ‘militia.’ They claim
they’re protecting the populace. They wave over private cars and
matatus at random and ask passengers their names. Your
surname identifies what tribe you’re from. If you’re not
convincing, they ask for your national identification card, which
lists your tribe. And even the languages you speak can be a
matter of life and death.”

After the election, the country fractured along ethnic boundaries.
Part of the Rift Valley belongs to the Kalenjin tribe, which along
with others went about killing and displacing the Kikuyu. If a
Kalenjin realizes you are Kikuyu, chances are “you’ll likely be
dragged from the vehicle and mutilated with pangas (machetes).”

There are 13 people in the matatu the Runner’s World reporter is
in, but for some reason they are waved through all the
checkpoints. The woman next to him says this is mainly because
it is daylight.

The matatu passes near the place where Olympic runner Lucas
Sang was killed, murdered on New Year’s Day.

Sang was a Kalenjin, and the locals say at night he was
surrounded by a Kikuyu mob – “hotheads, thugs, the poor, the
disenfranchised. He tried to calm them down, tried to talk them
out of their bloodlust, but failed. The mob reportedly stoned him
to death and burned his body in the street.”

Earlier that day was an incident many of you heard about. 400
Kikuyus took refuge from a Kalenjin mob in a church. The mob
set the church ablaze and 30 men, women, and children were
trapped inside and burned to death. Sang’s murder may have
been a reprisal for this act.

The reporter learns again travel is really only possible early in
the day. “You must go before the hoodlums at the roadblocks
get drunk. They are drunk by noon. Then they start killing
people.”

*I greatly apologize in that when I ripped out this article, I
missed the page with the reporter’s name on it and then couldn’t
find it online.

---

The Death of Jimmy Clark

I meant to do this last time, April 7 being the 40th anniversary of
the death of the great Formula One racer. I grew up a big time
fan of Formula One, and racing in general, thanks to the
fanaticism of my brother, six years older, and even at ten myself,
I knew enough so that it was upsetting to learn the tragic news
that this true gentleman of the sport had died at Hockenheim on
4/7/68.

Clark, 32, was a two-time world driving champion with titles in
1963 and 65 in his famous Lotus Climax. Clark was awesome,
winning 25 of 72 starts (but with just one second, interestingly).
And so it was he appeared at Germany’s Hockenheim track.
Author David Tremayne picks up the story for the London
Times.

“Hockenheim never was a circuit for the fainthearted. Its fast
straights negated pure driving skill, turning races into balls-out
slipstreaming epics in the days before chicanes were finally
introduced to slow things down.

“Jim Clark did not want to be there. He was supposed to be
driving the new Ford F3L sports prototype at Brands Hatch for
Alan Mann Racing. But by the time Mann asked Clark, the Scot
had already given his word to Team Lotus chief Colin Chapman,
the friend with whom he had risen to the top, that he would race
his Lotus 48 at Hockenheim.

“Clark had been struggling all weekend with misfires and his
Firestone tires, which hated the cold, damp conditions.
Englishman Derek Bell, a coming man, remembered being
stunned over breakfast on race day when Clark said to him:
‘Don’t get too close behind me when you come up to lap me,
because my car is cutting out intermittently ’

“If Stirling Moss was my hero, Jim Clark was my idol,’ Bell
recalled. ‘This was my idol saying, ‘When you come up to lap
me ’ It wasn’t easy to take in.’

“Clark’s mechanic, Dave ‘Beaky’ Sims, had spent the early
hours of the morning running the Lotus up and down the road
trying to cure the misfire. ‘The problem was, it was freezing. It
was so cold it was affecting the fuel metering units. The drive
belts were breaking. In the end I used boiling water. That cured
it.’ Sims would be the last man to talk to Clark, and said: ‘He
told me he wasn’t happy with the handling in the wet. He told me
not to expect too much. He wasn’t confident, but I don’t think he
feared anything was going to happen to him.’

“Max Mosley, now president of the FIA, but then a rookie F2
racer, was also driving. ‘The first corner was thick spray,’ he
remembered. ‘I was thinking, ‘this isn’t a good idea.’ All you
could do was steer by looking at the tops of the trees, because
you couldn’t see where the track went. I backed off, expecting
everyone to pass. To my astonishment they didn’t.’ [Ed. note.
To the casual race fan used to watching NASCAR and Indy cars
race only when it’s dry, F-1 racing takes place in all weather.]

“Clark was eighth when he came round the stadium at the end of
the fourth lap. He failed to appear next time around. The red,
white and gold Lotus had spun at 160mph on a gradual curve
shortly after the first corner and crashed into the forest’s
unyielding trees, and in as much time as it takes to read these
words, the world’s greatest driver was killed.

“There were inevitably theories about the cause of the accident.
Children had run across the road, causing him to swerve. The
misfiring engine had cut out, causing the loss of control. Sims
had no doubt. ‘It was a right-rear tire deflation,’ he said.” Derek
Bell thought it was the engine misfiring. Bell said Sims told
Clark he couldn’t fix it. Bell: “I could see it: he goes through
that curve, the engine cuts out, the thing gets sideways as a
result, the engine suddenly cuts back in when he’s out of shape
who knows?’”

Clark was such a beloved figure, “a sheep farmer from Scotland
who became a shy champion,” as Tremayne writes. Clark didn’t
like the spotlight.

“In 1962, in South Africa, his first world championship had
slipped away because of mechanical failure in the final race.
Two years later, in Mexico, the same thing happened to him,
within sight of the checkered flag. Both times he accepted fate’s
blows with dignity .To Clark, the manner in which the game
was played was as important as the outcome.”

At Clark’s funeral, his father told American hero Dan Gurney he
was the only rival his son truly feared. “It destroyed me, really,
in terms of my self-control,” Gurney later admitted. “I was
drowned in tears. To hear that from someone whose son had
been killed, and wasn’t there any more, it was more than I could
cope with.”

Jackie Stewart, Clark’s close friend, inherited the mantle.
“Jimmy’s death was to motor racing what the atomic bomb had
been to the world,” he said. “Jim Clark was everything that I
aspired to be, as a racing driver and as a man.”

[If you are a fan of the sport, David Tremayne has written a
number of terrific books. Check out Amazon.]

Stuff

--Shark Attack!!!!!!

Peter Edmonds, 16, was fatally attacked by a “large shark” while
bodyboarding about 650 km north of Sydney. Peter died after
being bitten twice on the left leg about 8 am. His companion,
Brock Curtis, helped his friend back to shore following the
attack.

Curtis said he saw a “big, grey shadow” pass by him as he
paddled toward his stricken friend but was not afraid as he did
not know what it was.

“In the water I was in line with him (Peter) and noticed that he
was in a bit of trouble. As I headed towards him it looked like he
was catching a wave and was heading back to shore. Then I saw
him on his back with his head above the water so then he turned
so he was face down. I thought he was only joking, so I went
over to him and as I flipped him over I saw his leg.”

Brock said he tried in vain to resuscitate Peter after dragging him
to shore.

“He didn’t make one noise,” he said. [Sydney Morning Herald]

--Only three players in NBA history have averaged at least 30
points, seven rebounds and seven assists per game in a season
with a minimum of 70 games. Michael Jordan (once), Oscar
Robertson (five times) and, this season, LeBron James, who is
averaging 30.2 points, 7.9 rebounds, and 7.3 assists.

Of course the all-time best season, statistically, was Big O’s
triple double for all of 1961 .30.8, 12.5, 11.4 .remarkable.

[Jordan’s big year was 1988 32.5, 8.0, 8.0]

--This 0-7 start by the Detroit Tigers really is remarkable.

--Dick Vitale was selected for the Basketball Hall of Fame. Oh,
what the hell.

--Interesting historical note out of Australia. On November 19,
1941, the Australian light cruiser HMAS Sydney was sunk by a
German ship in a 30-minute battle off the western Australian
coast, with all 645 Aussie soldiers lost in what is Australia’s
greatest naval tragedy. It was discovered the other day.

Prime Minister Kevin Rudd said, “It’s very important to
understand that this is a tomb and there are 645 Australians
entombed there.”

The cruiser was also the biggest ship lost with no survivors from
any World War II nation, historians said, vanishing after sailing
ablaze over the horizon at the end of the encounter.

As noted by Reuters, “News of the sinking devastated
Australians, plunging the nation into a deep wartime gloom, and
the mystery of its disappearance had remained a national
obsession.”

The only witnesses to the battle were the 317 survivors on the
German ship Kormoran, which was disguised as a Dutch
freighter when it encountered the Aussie ship. 80 died on the
Kormoran, which was discovered the day before the Sydney.

--At Augusta, Gary Player is teeing it up in his 51st Masters
Tournament, thus surpassing the record he shared with Arnold
Palmer. At 72, Player of course isn’t competitive but he did
shoot 77 his second round last year, tying or beating 38 players,
including Sergio Garcia, Adam Scott and David Toms. Palmer’s
reaction has been a bit dismissive. “Well, if he isn’t
embarrassed, I won’t be embarrassed for him .Gary’s going to
do whatever he can to top whatever I’ve done. That includes
living longer.”

--From Golf Digest, the top-10 things not to say when trying to
join a club.

10. Is the parking lot big enough for my RV?
9. Convicted? No.
8. Does the food-and-beverage minimum include tequila shots?
7. I just met your wife. I always wondered what Botox did.
6. I promise to keep my cell phone on vibrate.
5. I’d take my hat off in the dining room, but the doctor said I
haven’t completely recovered from the infestation.
4. No, you don’t understand. These are designer jeans.
3. I’m still looking for the real killers, but a little golf now and
then can’t hurt.
2. Can we hang photos in our locker? I have a great one of
Nancy Pelosi.
1. Pull my finger.

--Noted baseball groundskeeper Roger Bossard and some tips for
getting a great looking lawn, as noted in Smithsonian.

1. Fertilize six times a year.
2. Apply grub control insecticide at the end of April and in late
July or early August.
3. Aerate the lawn once in the spring and again in the fall. It
helps increase the percolation rate of water, allows the proper gas
exchange and alleviates the organic buildup from clippings.
4. Cut the grass every three or four days. [Ed. I don’t have time
for that.]
5. Never cut off more than one-third of your plant. Keep your
lawn at one and three-quarters to two inches.
6. Bagging beats mulching for those who mow once or twice a
week. [Huh]
7. A typical rotary mower is fine, but sharpen the blade every
season. [It’s easier just to buy a new mower, I always say.]

--Arizona Diamondbacks hurler Doug Davis gave up just two
runs in six innings in gaining the win on Tuesday against the
Dodgers. It was his final start before thyroid cancer surgery.

Speaking of Arizona, third baseman Mark Reynolds has 5
homers and 12 RBI in the team’s first eight games. I’m not
ready to say he’ll clout 90-100 for the season, however.

--According to the experts at Love@Lycos, 62% of billionaires
marry, or have girlfriends, with brown hair. Fair haired ladies
come in second with 22%, while women with black hair hook up
with 16%.

--In Kenya, there is a new draft beer known officially as Senator
Keg, which was launched in 2004. Now, with the connection
Barack Obama has to Kenya, the drink has been dubbed
“Obama” beer. Eliza Barclay of BusinessWeek notes that
demand is surging for “Obama,” which, at 30 cents a glass, is
marketed to low-income consumers as an alternative to
dangerous but cheap home brews. Well, as noted above I’m not
about to head to Kenya, but were I to, I’d sidle up to the bar and
order four, or six, Obama beers myself. Then I’d take a matatu
home.

--The Mets played a miserable home opener in losing to the
Phillies on Tuesday as the bullpen once again imploded, shades
of the 2007 collapse. What’s interesting is that this particular
squad really is hated by the fans .and we’re just six games into
the season.

Fellow Mets fan Johnny Mac wonders which bandwagon we
should jump on .Orioles? Brewers? We both like Usinger’s
sausages so it’s looking like Milwaukee.

--Run for your lives! “African honeybees, also known as killer
bees for their aggressive behavior, attacked about 20 state police
officers in southern Tapachula (Mexico) on Monday morning as
they practiced shooting at a firing range. Several officers were
treated at a hospital. The officers apparently shot one of several
hives near the range, provoking the easily agitated strain of
bees.” [Associated Press.] The officers did then counterattack,
gunning down 432,000 while wounding six million.

--Czech President Vaclav Klaus, 66, has confessed to having an
affair with an airline stewardess less than half his age. Attitudes
here are different than in the U.S., though, as most people were
impressed and regarded him as “a real man.” Klaus has had at
least three affairs with stewardesses and he admitted it would be
difficult to explain the latest fling to his wife. Carry on!

--From the New York Post’s Page Six:

“Hugh Hefner got an early birthday surprise the other night when
he and girlfriend Holly Madison entered his penthouse at the
Palm in Vegas to be greeted by Pamela Anderson, who was stark
naked except for a pair of high heels. ‘She was holding a cake,
walked over to him, tussled his hair and wished him happy
birthday. Hef couldn’t believe it,’ one Playboy insider told us.
‘Pam wasn’t paid to do it, she just wanted to show her love for
Hef.’” Hef turned 82 on Wednesday.

Pamela Anderson .helping make the world a better place.

--From Agence France-Presse:

“A middle-aged Singaporean man has died after taking an illegal
sexual-enhancement tablet made by a Guangzhou-based firm and
containing high amounts of controlled drugs.”

Singapore’s health authority said the pill is called “Power 1
Walnut.”

Now discuss amongst yourselves.

Top 3 songs for week 4/8/72: #1 “A Horse With No Name”
(America) #2 “Heart Of Gold” (Neil Young) #3 “The First
Time Ever I Saw Your Face” (Roberta Flack) and #4 “I
Gotcha” (Joe Tex) #5 “Rockin’ Robin” (Michael Jackson) #6
“Puppy Love” (Donny Osmond) #7 “Mother And Child
Reunion” (Paul Simon) #8 “Jungle Fever” (The Chakachas) #9
“In The Rain” (Dramatics .great tune) #10 “The Lion Sleeps
Tonight” (Robert John)

Golf Quiz Answers: 1) Seven (last five) to win at least one major
three years in a row. Tiger Woods, 2005-07; Phil Mickelson,
2004-06; Tiger, 1999-02; Tom Watson, 1980-83; Jack Nicklaus,
1970-73; Jack Nicklaus, 1965-67; Arnold Palmer, 1960-62 and
Peter Thomson, 1954-56; Ralph Guldahl, 1937-39. 2) Players
under age 30 to have won at least two PGA Tour titles in the
Tiger Era: Sergio Garcia, 28, 6 wins; Adam Scott, 27, 5; Charles
Howell III, 28, 2; Aaron Baddeley, 26, 2; D.J. Trahan, 27, 2; J.B.
Holmes, 25, 2; Sean O’Hair, 25, 2.

Next Bar Chat, Monday.