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04/10/2017

Sergio Finally Does It

[Posted late Sunday p.m.]

Stanley Cup Quiz: 1) Who is the last repeat champion?  2) When was the last year the Toronto Maple Leafs won it all?  Answers below.

The Masters

As we entered the final round....

Justin Rose -6
Sergio Garcia -6
Rickie Fowler -5
Jordan Spieth -4
Ryan Moore -4
Adam Scott -3

Rory McIlroy E
Jon Rahm E

The stage was set for a spectacular 18, with the entire sports world anticipating the back nine.

What would Sergio do, after 12 times finishing in the top five in a major and never closing the deal?

What about Rickie and his quest for that first major that would truly elevate him to the elite status he craves...and his fans want to see.

How could Spieth, first, recover from that opening 75 that included a 9 on No. 15 and be where he is, and then block out his nightmare on the back nine from last year in a collapse for the ages?

Could Rahm and Rory get in the hunt the back nine?

And then play commenced....

Sergio was suddenly up 2 after three holes, up 3 after 5.  Jordan Spieth opened bogey, birdie, bogey.

After six holes....

Garcia -8
Rose -6
Paul Casey -4 (thru 9)
Fowler -4
Spieth -2

Rose birdied 6, 7, and 8 to go -8. 

After nine holes....

Garcia -8
Rose -8
Fowler -5
Charles Schwartzel -4 (thru 11)

CBS threw up the stat that over the years, Garcia was +31 on the back nine at Augusta, while Rose was -11.

Sergio gets into trouble behind a tree on No. 10 and bogeys to go -7.

Matt Kuchar aces No. 16!  He signs the ball and gives it to a kid.  Great moment.

After 12 holes....

Rose -8
Garcia -6
Thomas Pieters -6 (thru 15)
Kuchar -5 (thru 17)

Rose misses a short birdie putt on 13 that could have given him a 3-shot lead.

Sergio, after a great approach on 14, birdies to get to -7.  Rose holes a clutch par putt to remain -8.

On to 15 and Rose is 215 away after his drive while Garcia is just 173 from the hole.  Sergio proceeds to almost hole his second on the fly.

Garcia eagles! Rose birdies...both now -9.

Garcia and Rose hit terrific tee shots on 16.  One of many great moments in sportsmanship between the two takes place as they slap hands.

Rose birdies!  Garcia misses.  Rose by one.

Rose’s approach on 17 goes into a bunker.  Garcia is safely on for a 20-footer.

Rose bogeys...back to -9.  Garcia pars...still at -9.  Tied going to 18.

Garcia great drive under amazing pressure.  Rose equals it.

Rose hits first and the shot takes a huge kick left towards the flag. Garcia equals.

But on their putts, Rose goes first and misses, and then Sergio does the same.

On to a playoff, back to No. 18....

Rose hits his drive into the trees, right.  Garcia is right down the fairway.

Rose, playing very quickly when it seemed he had a fade shot to land short of the green, punches it out instead.

Rose ends up missing his par putt, and after a solid approach, Garcia needs two for the win. He makes the birdie.  The two players exchange a deep hug, great friends and competitors.

Sergio’s first major after all these years, and on what would have been mentor Seve Ballesteros’ 60th birthday.

An amazing moment...another amazing Masters.

And I can’t help but add, Jim Nantz is masterful.  [Including during his terrific final interview with Arnold Palmer, part of CBS’ opening coverage on Sunday.]

--Of course the Masters suffered a big blow before play even began on Thursday when World No. 1, and the hottest golfer on the planet, Dustin Johnson, fell on some stairs at his rental home on Wednesday.

Johnson said Thursday afternoon, after trying to give it a go but withdrawing at the first tee, “I slipped on the stairs and landed on my back.  I just can’t swing the club.”

Johnson said the sad part is that he feels like he’ll be back to normal this coming week, it was just the timing. If it had happened Monday, he’s probably playing.

D.J. explained, “Tatum was on the way home from day care,” speaking of his 2-year-old son with wife Paulina Gretzky.  “And it was pouring down rain, so I was going to go move the car. I was just wearing my socks.  [We assume he was wearing more than socks.]

“So I just slipped as I was going down the stairs. And landed – it actually would have been better if it had been the first set of stairs, because I probably would have slid right down it, but it was only three, so I landed right on the bottom.  My left elbow is swollen and bruised.  I landed on my left side.”

Johnson was worked on Wednesday afternoon and evening, and Thursday morning, by a seeming army of doctors and therapists.

Thomas Boswell / Washington Post

“Context, please.  They have been playing the World Series for more than a century and the Super Bowl for more than half of one. In all that time, has the ace of a World Series team or the quarterback of the Super Bowl favorite ever disabled himself accidentally within 24 hours of one of the biggest days of his life?

“Ultimately, this was the bizarre day when the world’s best player missed the Masters because he forgot to put on shoes.  Or take off socks.  And, like so many of the incidents involving Johnson, it’s mostly sad because there’s no element of malice or even mischief....

“What now seems clear is that Dustin Johnson, the graceful golfer betrayed by his socks, will be remembered as the great talent constantly hounded by the preposterous.

“Or, if he produces more memories like those at Oakmont Country Club last June, as the player who overcame it anyway.”

--Danny Willett, missing the cut by one stroke, became the first defending Masters champion not to advance to the weekend since Mike Weir in 2004.

--Friday afternoon, at a federal court in New York, Las Vegas sports gambler William T. Walters, known as “Billy” was convicted of charges of wire fraud, securities fraud and conspiracy stemming from an insider trading case.

I mentioned this in my “Week in Review” column because of the Wall Street angle.  It was a trade in Dean Foods where Walters made $40 million on information supplied by a board member...the two being very careful to speak in code, with Dean Foods being the “Dallas Cowboys.”

But of course you know that Walters was Phil Mickelson’s friend and Phil made $1 million, per Walters’ advice, on the same trade.

Mickelson was never charged, but the SEC named him in a lawsuit and Mickelson had to pay the $1 million back.

The jury reached its verdict at 2:40 p.m. Friday afternoon, while Phil was playing his second round, so he wouldn’t have known, but while we’ll never hear the truth, I was wondering if this would impact Lefty’s play over the weekend. 

[He ended up going 74-72, +2 overall, T-22.  I doubt there was any influence on Phil’s play.]

Carl Icahn was also part of this case, with one of Walters’ brokers telling the jury that Billy had gotten some ideas from Icahn himself; though Icahn was not charged with any wrongdoing.

--Speaking of gambling, Darren Rovell and David Purdum of ESPN noted that some sports books returned money bet on Dustin Johnson, some didn’t.

I would have thought for PR reasons, all the sportsbooks would have refunded the money.

More money was bet on Johnson to win this year’s Masters than any other golfer at multiple Vegas spots.

But “future bets” are where the big money is and on this “all bets are action” regardless of whether a golfer plays, so too bad...as it should be.

--Augusta National Chairman Billy Payne lit into Tiger Woods this week at his annual pre-Masters press conference.

“It’s not simply the degree of his conduct that is so egregious here,” Payne said, in his opening speech. “It is the fact he disappointed all of us and more importantly our kids and grandkids.

“Our hero did not live up to the expectations as a role model that we sought for our children.”

This was unprecedented.  Payne and his predecessor Hootie Johnson never commented about the behavior of a golfer outside the course.

“As he ascended in our rankings of the world’s great golfers, he became an example to our kids...” Payne said. “But as he now says himself, he forgot in the process to remember that with fame and fortune comes responsibility, not invisibility.”

“Is there a way forward?” Payne asked.  “I hope so... But certainly his future will never again be measured only by his performance against par, but by the sincerity of his efforts to change.”

Payne’s comments were Wednesday and he said he talked to Tiger the night before at the Champions Dinner.

This was of course the 20th anniversary of Tiger’s ground-breaking Masters performance, when he won by 12 shots.

--Lastly, Billy Payne was phenomenal at Thursday’s opening ceremony, walking onto the first tee with Arnold Palmer’s widow, Kathleen Gawthrop, and placing a green jacket on an empty chair in Arnie’s honor.

“This is a wonderful and difficult day,” Payne said, as Jack Nicklaus and Gary Player stood alongside, preparing for their ceremonial first tee shots.  “Arnold Palmer was more than a King. He was my friend.  He was your friend.”

“The almost unbearable sadness we feel at the passing of Arnold is surpassed only by the love and affection for him that will always reside in our heart,” Payne said as thousands, including Rickie Fowler, crammed around the first tee.  There wasn’t a dry eye in the place, nor among those watching on television, me among them.

MLB

--It’s early but New York baseball fans are in full panic mode.  The Yankees are off to a dreadful start, 2-4 after an admittedly solid, come-from-behind win over the Orioles on Sunday.  Their bullpen has given up some leads late, while the young stars have failed to produce.

One of those budding “superstars,” catcher Gary Sanchez, could be out a long while after he strained his bicep on a big swing Saturday night in Baltimore as part of a 5-4 loss to the Orioles.  It didn’t look good on tape and while he was placed on just the 10-day disabled list, these things can last.

To compound matters, the Yanks’ top pitching prospect, James Kaprelian, could be headed for Tommy John surgery.

The Mets are just 2-3 as I go to post, with zero offense, but they’re up 5-2 in the seventh tonight against Miami.

--Clayton Kershaw gave up three home runs in a 4-2 loss to the Rockies in Denver on Saturday, including the first time he had surrendered back-to-back homers in his career, which is remarkable; Mark Reynolds and Gerardo Parra doing the honors.  Kershaw went six innings in giving up the four runs.

--Nice to see Mike Trout off to a solid start in the power department, 2 homers and 7 RBIs, including a key two-run homer Saturday to lead the Angels to a 5-4 victory over the Mariners.  And Los Angeles won on Sunday 10-9 (though without Trout’s help), so they are 5-2.  Unfortunately, they may win just 22 more the rest of the year.

--On the way to a 17-3 lambasting of the Nationals Saturday night in Philadelphia, the Phillies scored 12 innings in the bottom of the first, ten off starter Jeremy Guthrie, leaving him with an ERA of 135.00.  This would be a terrific passer rating.

--In Friday night’s Marlins win over the Mets, 7-2, Miami pitcher Wei-yin Chen broke an 0-for-51 career hitless streak at the plate with a single off Zack Wheeler...an infield hit.

The thing is, Chen had never even walked or been hit by a pitch in his first 51 official at bats.  He’s had a few sacrifice bunts.

--I’m sure many of you saw the video clip of Tim Tebow’s first at bat for the Class A Columbia Fireflies, a two-run homer.  It is very cool if you haven’t. I would have loved to be there.

--For the record, Major League Baseball reported this past week that a record number of 259 foreign players were on April 2 opening day rosters, which means that foreign players make up 29.8 percent of the league’s 868 players, including active 25-man rosters and those on the disabled, suspended or restricted lists.

The foreign players are from 19 countries, with the Dominican Republic having the most at 93, followed by Venezuela with 77, Cuba 23, and Puerto Rico 16.

Canada has eight, Korea five.

Twins outfielder Max Kepler became the first German born player in major league history.

The Texas Rangers have the most foreign-born players with 14.

--Finally, I noted the passing of the great Washington Senators outfielder, Roy Sievers, the other day, but didn’t have time to pass along the following.

Sievers was A.L. Rookie of the Year in 1949 for the St. Louis Browns, but then in 1954, the Browns having become the Orioles, he was traded to the Senators for outfielder Gil Coan in, when looking back, may have been one of the ten worst trades in baseball history...seriously.

Coan had had respectable seasons in 1950-51 with the Senators, batting .303 both years, but by ’54 he was in serious decline.

Sievers, on the other hand, proceeded to have 4, 100-RBI seasons in five years, 1954-58, including leading the league in home runs (42) and RBI (114) in 1957, with 29 homers and 95 RBI in the other season.

After an off-year in 1959, he was traded but would go on to have four very productive seasons for the White Sox and Phillies and finished his career with 318 homers and 1,147 RBIs, to go with his .267 batting average and four All-Star team berths.

This was a great ballplayer, and a major fan favorite in Washington.

So when he was starring for the Senators it was the same time avid baseball fan Richard Nixon was vice president, and as Richard Goldstein writes in the New York Times, Nixon’s favorite was Sievers.  He was even master of ceremonies at a night for Sievers in September 1957.

“In 1959, after Nixon’s so-called Kitchen Debate with the Soviet leader Nikita S. Khruschev over the merits of capitalism versus communism at a model kitchen in an American national exhibit in Moscow, Sievers was among those at Nixon’s welcome-home party at a Washington airport.

“At the time, the Senators were in the midst of a losing streak, and when he greeted Nixon, Sievers recalled, ‘The first thing he said was, ‘What in the hell is wrong with the Senators?

“ ‘And I said, ‘Mr. Vice President, we’re just not hitting good, the pitching’s not good.’  He said, ‘I’ll be out the next night.’  Usually, when he came out we’d win the ballgame.  But we lost.’

“The Senators went on to drop 18 straight games.”

NBA

--Kevin Durant made his return to the Golden State Warriors Saturday night after missing the previous 19 games with a knee injury and he looked just fine...16 points, 10 rebounds and 6 assists in the Warriors’ 123-101 win over the Pelicans.

Golden State won its 14th straight – the longest winning streak in the NBA this season, even as Steph Curry was out with a bruised left knee.  [I should add New Orleans was playing without DeMarcus Cousins and Anthony Davis.]

--Damian Lillard of Portland had a career-high 59 points on Saturday, leading the Trail Blazers to a critical 101-86 victory over Utah.  Portland strengthened their hold on the last playoff spot in the Western Conference, moving to 1 ½ games ahead of the ninth-place Nuggets.

Good thing Lillard was on fire, 18 of 34 from the field, 9 of 14 from three, 14 of 16 from the free throw line, because the rest of the team was 19 of 57.

--Brooklyn won its 20th game of the season and has been playing very well down the stretch, 7-4 over their last 11, dealing the Chicago Bulls a critical loss in their playoff hunt, 107-106 in Brooklyn.  The Bulls fell into a tie with Miami for eighth in the East.

Miami had a critical win at Washington, 106-103, Saturday as my man James Johnson sank a critical layup with 11 seconds to play and finished with 15 points and 11 rebounds.  He’s been starting the last few for the Heat after being a Sixth Man of the Year candidate the entire season.

Milwaukee clinched a playoff berth with a 90-82 win over Philadelphia.

And Indiana pulled a game ahead of Chicago and Miami with a 127-112 win over Orlando, Demon Deac Jeff Teague dishing out 13 assists as your editor selectively doles out only the stats that make former Wake Forest alum look good.

So the standings as of Sunday in terms of the key races....

East

1. Cleveland 51-29*...Miami away, Toronto at home
2. Boston 51-29...home against Brooklyn and Milwaukee

6. Milwaukee 41-39...clinched
7. Indiana 40-40
8. Chicago 39-41
9. Miami 39-41

*Last Wednesday, Cleveland won its big matchup against Boston, 114-91, behind LeBron’s 36 points and 10 rebounds.  But Sunday, the Cavs lost to the Hawks 126-125 in OT, despite Kyrie Irving’s 45 and LeBron’s 32-16-10 triple-double.

West

1. Golden State 66-14...pulled away down the stretch
2. San Antonio 61-18...stumbling, 4-3 last seven, including a loss to the Warriors (and a brutal one to the Lakers), and Popovich is pissed.  He said his starters won’t rest the last two games even though nothing is at stake.

8. Portland 40-40
9. Denver 38-41

Not for nothing, but you’ll recall, Portland was my preseason pick to win it all.  Of course I’m sticking with it!  They’ve played much better the second half and that backcourt is still as good as any.

--Oklahoma City Thunder point guard Russell Westbrook officially became the first NBA player in 55 years, since Oscar Robertson, to average a triple-double for a season.  With season averages of 31.7 points, 10.7 rebounds and 10.4 assists, he leads the league in scoring and is on track for his second career scoring title.

Is Westbrook the league’s MVP?  A few weeks ago I would have said Kawhi Leonard, but I think you have to give it to Westbrook at this point, trying to envision playoff bound OKC without him.

As for Oscar Robertson, “The Big O,” he averaged 30.8, 12.5 rebounds and 11.4 assists in the 1961-62 season.

--Meanwhile, there is the ongoing saga of LaVar and Lonzo Ball, the latter an upcoming lottery selection.  Lonzo is going to be the first player to enter the NBA with his own sports agency after telling the Los Angeles Times’ Ben Bolch that he would be represented by fledgling agent Harrison Gaines and the newly formed Ball Sports Group headed by Ball’s father, LaVar.

“We’re trying to do things differently, add a little flavor to the game and see what we can do from there,” Lonzo said

LaVar said the family’s approach, including two younger brothers who have committed to play at UCLA, will “ruffle a few feathers, but it’s going to set a ripple effect where people might not go just the agency way as far as, OK, what really does the agent do besides declare for the draft because how are you going to negotiate a price that’s already there?

“They try to get you with the, ‘Oh, we can market him.’  If you’re already successful, they’re going to come at you anyway....They’re just going to ask me questions I already know about my boys. I might as well market them myself.  I know everything.  I’m going to market them my way and not their way.”

What a freakin’ nightmare!  Yoh, NBA GMs, you select this guy with your first pick and look out!

But wait, there’s more!

LaVar pinned UCLA’s loss to Kentucky in a regional semifinal on the number of white players in UCLA’s lineup.  He told the Southern California News Group that “realistically you can’t win no championship with three white guys because the foot speed is too slow.”

Yup, you can have Lonzo and Co.  I’ll take De’Aaron Fox.  [I know absolutely zero about presumed No. 1, Markelle Fultz; have never seen him play, but I do know his team, Washington, won all of nine games this season.]

--Wichita State announced it would join the American Athletic Conference for the next academic year, a move that would bolster its basketball prospects while helping the conference as a whole.  The Shockers have been plagued by seeding slights come NCAA tournament time because of their weak Missouri Valley Conference opposition.

The Missouri Valley was ranked 12th in RPI, while the AAC was ranked seventh this past season.

Only two AAC teams (SMU and Cincinnati) made the tournament this past season, but it does include perennial tourney teams Memphis, UConn and Temple, plus Houston.

But once again, the poor MVC suffers a huge loss; Creighton having joined the new Big East in 2013.

--Patrick Ewing was interviewed on “The Sports Junkies,” talking about his taking the Georgetown coaching job.

“I’ve always thought about coming back to the city,” he said.  “I didn’t think it was going to be back coaching the Hoyas. Maybe the Wizards. But I’m back, it’s a great opportunity.  I do have to say this, though. The only reason I’m back in college is because it’s Georgetown. If it was any other university, I would probably say no.  I just thought that this was a great fit, a great opportunity....I helped lay the foundation to get this program where it got.”

My friend Jimbo, with Georgetown connections, said Ewing only got the job because others under contemplation told the AD that they wouldn’t take the job unless John Thompson Jr. (the senior) wasn’t hanging around all the time.

Jimbo and I agree we don’t see this going well.  My point has been Ewing has zero college experience.

--The home of the most storied high school boys basketball program in the state of New Jersey, St. Anthony’s, is being forced to close its doors due to a lack of funding and dwindling enrollment, as announced by Bob Hurley Sr., the school’s president and basketball team’s Hall of Fame coach.

“It is with enormous regret that we announce today that in our negotiations with the archdiocese there were too many things that we were unable to do with increasing student enrollment, having some money long-term and satisfying some of our debt to the archdiocese,” Hurley said.  “So that at the end of the school year, we will be closing.”

Just a few months ago it was felt the school had raised enough money to stay in existence at least another year, but the fundraising effort wasn’t enough.

St. Anthony opened in 1952 and Hurley took over as head basketball coach in 1972.  Over the next four decades he built the Friars into arguably the most successful program in all of America.

New Jersey’s Tournament of Champions has been played 28 times, and St. Anthony won 13 of them.  Eight Hurley teams went undefeated, despite playing a heavy national schedule the past few decades.

Four of his squads won national championships. 

Hurley was elected to the Basketball Hall of Fame in 2010.

Premier League

Two big games last Wednesday, after I last posted.

Chelsea won a huge contest, 2-1 over Manchester City at Stamford Bridge behind the great Eden Hazard’s double, while at Swansea, Tottenham found itself down 1-0 with 88 minutes gone – and won 3-1!

Tottenham proved that this year is different. It isn’t satisfied with just finishing in the Top Four and gaining a Champions League berth.  They have a history of collapsing late, coming up short in big moments, but lately they’ve been clutch city, despite playing without superstar Harry Kane and other key performers.

So a potential gap of 10 points between 1 Chelsea and 2 Tottenham was back to 7, giving the Spurs a glimmer of hope.

Saturday....Tottenham whipped Watford 4-0, while Chelsea handled Bournemouth 3-1, so the gap remained 7.  Tottenham has now gone 10 wins, 2 draws and 1 loss in its last 13 league games and actually has fewer losses on the season with 3 than Chelsea does (4).

Also Saturday, Man City beat Hull 3-1, and Liverpool edged Stoke 2-1.

 Sunday, Manchester United dominated last place Sunderland 3-0, while Everton had a big 4-2 home win vs. Leicester City, the first loss for Leicester coach Craig Shakespeare.  There were four goals in the first 23 minutes of this one, 2-2...great stuff.  Everton’s Lukaku had two goals to get to 23, tops in the Premier League.

Monday, Arsenal is at Crystal Palace, big one for both.

Standings....    

1. Chelsea 31 matches, 75 points
2. Tottenham 31 – 68
3. Liverpool 32 – 63
4. Manchester City 31 – 61
5. Manchester United 30 – 57 
6. Arsenal 29 – 54
7. Everton 32 – 54

In the relegation battle....

16. Crystal Palace 30 – 31
17. Hull City 32 – 30
18. Swansea 32 – 28
19. Middlesbrough 31 – 24
20. Sunderland 31 – 20 

Hockey

The NHL playoffs start this week and Rangers fans have zero expectations as we square off against Montreal.  As in no one will be  surprised if they get swept.  They’ve been miserable down the stretch, winning just four of their last 14.

Meanwhile, in College Hockey at the Frozen Four, Denver defeated Minnesota Duluth in the final on Saturday, 3-2, and I’m kicking myself for not catching the ending.  I had it written down to watch it, which would have been after the Masters’ coverage, but this is what happens when you fail to put post-its smack in your face on the TV and computer screen, boys and girls.  Let that be a lesson to you!

Anyway, Jarid Lukosevicius scored all three goals in the second period, while goalie Tanner Faillet made 38 saves as Denver moved into a tie with North Dakota for second on the NCAA list with eight men’s hockey titles, trailing only Michigan with nine.  Last year the Pioneers made it to the Frozen Four, only to lose to Minn. Duluth in the semifinals.  It’s Denver’s first championship since 2005.

NFL

Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger announced he would return for the 2017 season, which is hardly a surprise, but we were still waiting for a formal announcement. It will be Big Ben’s 14th season in Pittsburgh.  He turned 35 last month.

Coach Mike Tomlin said in a statement: “There is no question Ben wants to win championships for the Pittsburgh Steelers, and we know he will do everything possible to lead our entire team to achieving that goal.”

Don Rickles

The one-of-a-kind stand-up comic died Thursday at the age of 90.  As Don Steinberg wrote in the Wall Street Journal, Rickles “worked in rapid-fire insults the way Monet worked in oils, pioneering a caustic form of comedy that influenced generations of later comics.

“Beginning his career in the 1950s, Mr. Rickles became beloved by being abrasive. He managed to win over audiences by insulting them and brought crowds together in laughter even as he included otherwise divisive ethnic stereotypes. He called people ‘dummy’ or the dirty-sounding epithet ‘hockey puck,’ though he could work ‘clean’ as well as anyone....

“Mr. Rickles made a living speaking zingers to power.  In 1976, Mr. Rickles walked out of the TV studio wings of ‘The Tonight Show’ to surprise his pal Frank Sinatra who was chatting with Johnny Carson live.  Mr. Rickles kissed Mr. Sinatra on the lips and teased him with Mafia jokes.  (Mr. Rickles was an honorary member of the ‘rat pack,’ which included Mr. Sinatra, Dean Martin and Sammy Davis Jr.).

He entertained Ronald and Nancy Reagan during festivities for the president’s second inauguration in 1985.  “It’s a big treat for me to fly all the way here from California to be here for this kind of money,’ he joked, and dropped the microphone.  Later, turning to the President after a series of quips, he said: ‘Is this too fast, Ronnie?’”  [Ed. Reagan was in stitches.  Imagine Trump’s reaction...oh, how we miss Ronnie.]

Rickles had recorded the voice of Mr. Potato Head for “Toy Story 4,” slated for release in 2019, after voicing the character for the animated franchise’s three prior films.  “It’s a fun thing to do. Because there’s no makeup.  You sit in a booth like a moron,” he said in a 2013 interview.

Steinberg:

“Born in Queens, New York, in 1926, Mr. Rickles studied drama before trying stand-up comedy in New York, Miami, Los Angeles, and later Las Vegas.  ‘I couldn’t tell a joke, that’s why I started talking to the audience,’ he explained.  Few comics were talking to the audience – or heckling the crowd – as he did, and he never knew quite how a performance would turn out. ‘It’s not something you rehearse. It’s all personality.  But I’ve never been mean-spirited,’ he said.

“Early in his career he was performing at a club in Los Angeles in 1956 when he saw Mr. Sinatra and, according to legend, yelled ‘I say this from my heart.  Frank, your voice is gone.  It’s all over for you, you’re making a fool of yourself.’”

Actually, Dennis McLellan of the Los Angeles Times says the above incident in question was as follows:

“(Rickles) was a relatively unknown comic performing at Murray Franklin’s, a small club in Miami Beach, in the 1950s when Frank Sinatra came in with his entourage.

“ ‘Make yourself comfortable, Frank – hit somebody,’ said Rickles as the notoriously moody singer paused then broke up with laughter.

“Pressing on, Rickles said: ‘Frank, believe me, I’m telling you this as a friend: Your voice is gone.’

“Sinatra, who later took to affectionately calling Rickles ‘Bullethead,’ became one of the comic’s biggest boosters.”

This is why I always try to read at least two sources on stories of this kind.

McLellan:

“By the early 1960s, Rickles was an institution at the Sahara Hotel’s famous Casbar Lounge, where he’d score big laughs needling the celebrities who regularly showed up to see his shows and relished being the targets of his barbs.

“As Dean Martin once told the comic’s audience at the Casbar: ‘Don Rickles is the funniest man in show business. But don’t go by me; I’m drunk.’”

Rickles was seen as too risky for television, but that all changed in 1965 with his first of what would be 100 performances on Johnny Carson’s “Tonight Show.”

“Hi, dum, dum,” Rickles greeted the King of Late Night.

“Interrupting Carson’s attempt to respond, Rickles barked, ‘Where does it say you butt in, dummy? I’m fed up with you already, you know that?’

“As Carson broke up, Rickles continued: ‘That’s it, laugh it up. You’re making fifty million dollars a year and your poor parents are back in Nebraska eating locusts for dinner.’

“Carson and the audience howled.”  [McLellan]

After that, Rickles went national, becoming a regular on “The Dean Martin Celebrity Roast” shows, which were terrific, back in the day.

Tim Kreider / New York Times

“A few months ago, to surprise a friend on his 50th birthday, I took him to see his ‘last living hero’ – Don Rickles, much beloved in the 1960s and ‘70s as ‘the insult comic.’

“Mr. Rickles, who died on Thursday at 90, gave his performance from a wheelchair, crippled by necrotizing fasciitis – ‘It’s a disease that eats Jews,’ he explained.  He was like a coelacanth brought up from a bygone geologic era of comedy. When someone in the audience stood up and  cheered, fists raised, he snapped: ‘It’s not a rally, ya Polack.  Siddown.’ The last time I heard ‘Polack’ used as a generic insult was circa sixth grade; it was like hearing someone called a ‘jive turkey’ again.

When I was a kid, this kind of humor was very much in vogue: ‘All in the Family,’ whose main character was a grouchy, loudmouthed bigot, was the highest-rated show on American TV; Mel Brooks’ ‘Blazing Saddles,’ a crazed fable about a black sheriff in a frontier town, was one of a handful of films in history to gross over $100 million.  [Ed: at this point in time.]  I, a little suburban white kid, watched sitcoms about poor black people in the ghetto.  Perhaps the most improbable part of all this is that there were ever TV shows about poor people.

“It seems to me now as if there was a window of just a few years, after the upheavals and victories of the civil rights movement and before the rebranded and gentrified racism of the Reagan era, when racial tensions relaxed slightly, and it felt briefly, exhilaratingly O.K. to make fun of race relations in this country.  The fact that Mr. Rickles was able to speak those slurs onstage may be a sign not of his era’s ignorance but of its fleeting liberation.  Though let’s bear in mind that I was 8 and possibly not keenly attuned to the sociopolitical zeitgeist.

Ours is a more humorless, censorious age.  We now live in fear of being ‘called out’ – the American equivalent of being denounced as a counterrevolutionary, except instead of being forced to wear a dunce cap in the town square, you get called names on the internet.  I teach at a liberal arts college, pretty much ground zero for the culture of political correctness. Not any of my students actually seem to like this inhibiting atmosphere, and it isn’t clear who’s enforcing it, but they all have to live in it.”

I think Mr. Kreider has nailed it.

I was looking forward to watching Louis C.K. on SNL last night, but his monologue wasn’t the best.  That said, I love comics like him, and Chris Rock, who aren’t afraid to cross the line these days.  But as Kreider notes, yes, yours truly has to constantly watch what I write, and that sucks.

More Rickles....

At a tribute to Clint Eastwood: “Clint, I’m sorry, but I just gotta say what’s on everybody’s mind here.  You’re a terrible actor.”

While roasting Bob Hope: “We kid about great stars such as you Bob, why?  Because you’re old and washed up.”

To Ronald Reagan at his second inauguration: “Remember when you were governor and you used to walk over to my table?  Now you’re big and you’re getting on my nerves.”

From the New York Post’s Page Six:

“George Schlater, the producer of classic sketch-comedy TV show ‘Rowan & Martin’s Laugh-In,’ says Don Rickles was the only comic in showbiz who could get away with razzing Frank Sinatra.

“ ‘He could tease presidents and first ladies. He could say things to Frank Sinatra that no one could say to Sinatra. He could walk in and Frank would start to laugh.’”

Robert Lloyd / Los Angeles Times

“Although his comedy often skewered difference, whether it was a person’s race or age, or religion or some minor quirk of personality or physical characteristic – Rickles would never go after the truly disabled or disadvantaged.  It would be a mistake to see his signature ad hominem attack comedy as anything but ironic.

“The underlying point of his professional ecumenical disregard for his fellow humans is that the very state of being different is something we all share.  (‘It doesn’t matter to me what you are, you’re a human being,’ he says to one lucky, luckless audience member.  ‘I don’t ever want to see you again.’)

“What does he leaves us?  A reminder that we can always take ourselves less seriously.  That there is a difference between a jab thrown in knowing jest and one made out of hateful ignorance – and we should be smart enough to know the difference.  All that and a lot of laughs.”

Stuff

--In this week’s NASCAR race at Texas Motor Speedway, Fort Worth, Jimmie Johnson won the 81st of his career over Kyle Larson.  Johnson and team were off to a miserable start, with just one top-10 finish in the first six races, but we’re talkin’ Jimmie Johnson, folks.

--Mercedes driver Lewis Hamilton dominated the Chinese Grand Prix to take his first win of the year, defeating Ferrari’s Sebastian Vettel as it’s pretty clear these two will be dueling it out the entire season.

--As we gear up for the Kentucky Derby, there were three key prep races on Saturday, with next week’s Arkansas Derby the last one before the first Saturday in May and the Running for the Roses. [Had to throw in a cliché there.]

A field of 13, the largest in 36 years, assembled for the Santa Anita Derby because the favorite from a month earlier, Bob Baffert’s Mastery, is out with a leg fracture.  So some of the trainers felt free to enter any what they thought were competent 3-year-olds to see what would happen and trainer John Shirreffs’ Gormley won the race ahead of Battle of Midway.

Shirreff has just one Kentucky Derby winner and that was a dozen years ago with Giacomo at 50-1 odds.  But Gormley is piloted by Victor Espinoza who steered American Pharaoh to the Triple Crown in 2015, as well as Derby and Preakness wins aboard California Chrome in 2014.

Baffert may be absent from the Derby for only the second time in 10 years as the field is determined by points accumulated in the leading prep races and he doesn’t have a qualifying horse, plus he’s not running one in the Arkansas Derby...as of now.  [Mike Tierney / New York Times]

In the Wood Memorial at Aqueduct, Irish War Cry beat slightly favored Battalion Runner, with both probably headed for the Derby.

And in the Blue Grass Stakes at Keeneland in Lexington, Ky., a long-shot, Irap, trained by Doug O’Neill, defeated Practical Joke, with both also qualifying to head to Churchill Downs.

Seems to these amateur eyes that this is going to be an outrageously competitive, anyone can win, Derby.  I’m envisioning five battling down the stretch, which would be a dream.  Of course that could also mean the winner would have little left for the Preakness just two weeks later.

And that is your amateur racing report for April 9.

--An investigation by Coastal Carolina University into alleged misdeeds by its cheerleaders found that some went on dates with “Sugar Daddies,” while another worked as a shot girl at a strip joint. 

But there are other misdeeds, alleged by a “Concerned Parent,” who sent an anonymous letter to the school’s president, David Decenzo.

So the entire cheerleading team has been suspended while the investigation continues, though one anonymous team member told WMBF in Myrtle Beach that school police officers had informed the cheerleaders that they had done nothing wrong.  [Washington Post]

Personally, I never met a shot girl I didn’t like, except for the one in New Orleans who stained my white dress shirt when she.....

Oops, I forgot inspectors from the International Web Site Association are doing their annual tour of StocksandNews’ global headquarters this weekend.  Gotta be prudent.

--In case you wanted yet another reason why ‘Man’ remains mired in the 350s on the All-Species List, and you don’t want to bring up the likes of Syria, here’s a good one.

From the San Diego Union-Tribune:

“It was just before noon on a recent Sunday morning and a line had formed for the port-a-potties near the Wildflower Trail at Diamond Valley Lake in Riverside County.  Cars were backed up around a bend in the road, and frustrated people resorted to parking two miles away and walking in.

“They had come to see the ‘super bloom,’ of wildflowers that have sprung up around the trails snaking around this drinking water reservoir.  People are excited to take pictures of the flowers and themselves among the flowers, and many areas have been trampled.

“As a result, a half-mile section of the trail has been closed indefinitely.  ‘We haven’t seen these kinds of crowds. Ever,’ said Wendy Picht, an environmental specialist for the Metropolitan Water District, which manages the lake.”

Geezuz, what freakin’ jerks! 

It’s upsetting to see the destruction,” said Alex Marks, another MWD environmental specialist.  “ ‘Cause you can stand back and you can see the beauty of it without getting so close and trampling everything.”

That’s it...I’m demoting ‘Man’ a full 10 spots to No. 361.

Stanley Cup Quiz Answers: 1) The Detroit Red Wings are the last repeat champions, 1997, ’98.  2) Toronto last won the Cup in 1967.

Top 3 songs for the week of 4/3/71:  #1 “Just My Imagination (Running Away With Me)” (The Temptations)  #2 “Me And Bobby McGee” (Janis Joplin)  #3 “For All We Know” (Carpenters)... and...#4 “She’s A Lady” (Tom Jones)  #5 “What’s Going On” (Marvin Gaye)  #6 “Proud Mary” (Ike & Tina Turner)  #7 “Doesn’t Somebody Want To Be Wanted” (The Partridge Family)  #8 “Help Me Make It Through The Night” (Samuel Smith)  #9 “(Where Do I Begin) Love Story” (Andy Williams)  #10 “Another Day” (Paul McCartney)

***PBS’ “American Experience” has a 3-night event, “The Great War,” starting Monday, 9:00 ET.

Next Bar Chat, Thursday.

 



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Bar Chat

04/10/2017

Sergio Finally Does It

[Posted late Sunday p.m.]

Stanley Cup Quiz: 1) Who is the last repeat champion?  2) When was the last year the Toronto Maple Leafs won it all?  Answers below.

The Masters

As we entered the final round....

Justin Rose -6
Sergio Garcia -6
Rickie Fowler -5
Jordan Spieth -4
Ryan Moore -4
Adam Scott -3

Rory McIlroy E
Jon Rahm E

The stage was set for a spectacular 18, with the entire sports world anticipating the back nine.

What would Sergio do, after 12 times finishing in the top five in a major and never closing the deal?

What about Rickie and his quest for that first major that would truly elevate him to the elite status he craves...and his fans want to see.

How could Spieth, first, recover from that opening 75 that included a 9 on No. 15 and be where he is, and then block out his nightmare on the back nine from last year in a collapse for the ages?

Could Rahm and Rory get in the hunt the back nine?

And then play commenced....

Sergio was suddenly up 2 after three holes, up 3 after 5.  Jordan Spieth opened bogey, birdie, bogey.

After six holes....

Garcia -8
Rose -6
Paul Casey -4 (thru 9)
Fowler -4
Spieth -2

Rose birdied 6, 7, and 8 to go -8. 

After nine holes....

Garcia -8
Rose -8
Fowler -5
Charles Schwartzel -4 (thru 11)

CBS threw up the stat that over the years, Garcia was +31 on the back nine at Augusta, while Rose was -11.

Sergio gets into trouble behind a tree on No. 10 and bogeys to go -7.

Matt Kuchar aces No. 16!  He signs the ball and gives it to a kid.  Great moment.

After 12 holes....

Rose -8
Garcia -6
Thomas Pieters -6 (thru 15)
Kuchar -5 (thru 17)

Rose misses a short birdie putt on 13 that could have given him a 3-shot lead.

Sergio, after a great approach on 14, birdies to get to -7.  Rose holes a clutch par putt to remain -8.

On to 15 and Rose is 215 away after his drive while Garcia is just 173 from the hole.  Sergio proceeds to almost hole his second on the fly.

Garcia eagles! Rose birdies...both now -9.

Garcia and Rose hit terrific tee shots on 16.  One of many great moments in sportsmanship between the two takes place as they slap hands.

Rose birdies!  Garcia misses.  Rose by one.

Rose’s approach on 17 goes into a bunker.  Garcia is safely on for a 20-footer.

Rose bogeys...back to -9.  Garcia pars...still at -9.  Tied going to 18.

Garcia great drive under amazing pressure.  Rose equals it.

Rose hits first and the shot takes a huge kick left towards the flag. Garcia equals.

But on their putts, Rose goes first and misses, and then Sergio does the same.

On to a playoff, back to No. 18....

Rose hits his drive into the trees, right.  Garcia is right down the fairway.

Rose, playing very quickly when it seemed he had a fade shot to land short of the green, punches it out instead.

Rose ends up missing his par putt, and after a solid approach, Garcia needs two for the win. He makes the birdie.  The two players exchange a deep hug, great friends and competitors.

Sergio’s first major after all these years, and on what would have been mentor Seve Ballesteros’ 60th birthday.

An amazing moment...another amazing Masters.

And I can’t help but add, Jim Nantz is masterful.  [Including during his terrific final interview with Arnold Palmer, part of CBS’ opening coverage on Sunday.]

--Of course the Masters suffered a big blow before play even began on Thursday when World No. 1, and the hottest golfer on the planet, Dustin Johnson, fell on some stairs at his rental home on Wednesday.

Johnson said Thursday afternoon, after trying to give it a go but withdrawing at the first tee, “I slipped on the stairs and landed on my back.  I just can’t swing the club.”

Johnson said the sad part is that he feels like he’ll be back to normal this coming week, it was just the timing. If it had happened Monday, he’s probably playing.

D.J. explained, “Tatum was on the way home from day care,” speaking of his 2-year-old son with wife Paulina Gretzky.  “And it was pouring down rain, so I was going to go move the car. I was just wearing my socks.  [We assume he was wearing more than socks.]

“So I just slipped as I was going down the stairs. And landed – it actually would have been better if it had been the first set of stairs, because I probably would have slid right down it, but it was only three, so I landed right on the bottom.  My left elbow is swollen and bruised.  I landed on my left side.”

Johnson was worked on Wednesday afternoon and evening, and Thursday morning, by a seeming army of doctors and therapists.

Thomas Boswell / Washington Post

“Context, please.  They have been playing the World Series for more than a century and the Super Bowl for more than half of one. In all that time, has the ace of a World Series team or the quarterback of the Super Bowl favorite ever disabled himself accidentally within 24 hours of one of the biggest days of his life?

“Ultimately, this was the bizarre day when the world’s best player missed the Masters because he forgot to put on shoes.  Or take off socks.  And, like so many of the incidents involving Johnson, it’s mostly sad because there’s no element of malice or even mischief....

“What now seems clear is that Dustin Johnson, the graceful golfer betrayed by his socks, will be remembered as the great talent constantly hounded by the preposterous.

“Or, if he produces more memories like those at Oakmont Country Club last June, as the player who overcame it anyway.”

--Danny Willett, missing the cut by one stroke, became the first defending Masters champion not to advance to the weekend since Mike Weir in 2004.

--Friday afternoon, at a federal court in New York, Las Vegas sports gambler William T. Walters, known as “Billy” was convicted of charges of wire fraud, securities fraud and conspiracy stemming from an insider trading case.

I mentioned this in my “Week in Review” column because of the Wall Street angle.  It was a trade in Dean Foods where Walters made $40 million on information supplied by a board member...the two being very careful to speak in code, with Dean Foods being the “Dallas Cowboys.”

But of course you know that Walters was Phil Mickelson’s friend and Phil made $1 million, per Walters’ advice, on the same trade.

Mickelson was never charged, but the SEC named him in a lawsuit and Mickelson had to pay the $1 million back.

The jury reached its verdict at 2:40 p.m. Friday afternoon, while Phil was playing his second round, so he wouldn’t have known, but while we’ll never hear the truth, I was wondering if this would impact Lefty’s play over the weekend. 

[He ended up going 74-72, +2 overall, T-22.  I doubt there was any influence on Phil’s play.]

Carl Icahn was also part of this case, with one of Walters’ brokers telling the jury that Billy had gotten some ideas from Icahn himself; though Icahn was not charged with any wrongdoing.

--Speaking of gambling, Darren Rovell and David Purdum of ESPN noted that some sports books returned money bet on Dustin Johnson, some didn’t.

I would have thought for PR reasons, all the sportsbooks would have refunded the money.

More money was bet on Johnson to win this year’s Masters than any other golfer at multiple Vegas spots.

But “future bets” are where the big money is and on this “all bets are action” regardless of whether a golfer plays, so too bad...as it should be.

--Augusta National Chairman Billy Payne lit into Tiger Woods this week at his annual pre-Masters press conference.

“It’s not simply the degree of his conduct that is so egregious here,” Payne said, in his opening speech. “It is the fact he disappointed all of us and more importantly our kids and grandkids.

“Our hero did not live up to the expectations as a role model that we sought for our children.”

This was unprecedented.  Payne and his predecessor Hootie Johnson never commented about the behavior of a golfer outside the course.

“As he ascended in our rankings of the world’s great golfers, he became an example to our kids...” Payne said. “But as he now says himself, he forgot in the process to remember that with fame and fortune comes responsibility, not invisibility.”

“Is there a way forward?” Payne asked.  “I hope so... But certainly his future will never again be measured only by his performance against par, but by the sincerity of his efforts to change.”

Payne’s comments were Wednesday and he said he talked to Tiger the night before at the Champions Dinner.

This was of course the 20th anniversary of Tiger’s ground-breaking Masters performance, when he won by 12 shots.

--Lastly, Billy Payne was phenomenal at Thursday’s opening ceremony, walking onto the first tee with Arnold Palmer’s widow, Kathleen Gawthrop, and placing a green jacket on an empty chair in Arnie’s honor.

“This is a wonderful and difficult day,” Payne said, as Jack Nicklaus and Gary Player stood alongside, preparing for their ceremonial first tee shots.  “Arnold Palmer was more than a King. He was my friend.  He was your friend.”

“The almost unbearable sadness we feel at the passing of Arnold is surpassed only by the love and affection for him that will always reside in our heart,” Payne said as thousands, including Rickie Fowler, crammed around the first tee.  There wasn’t a dry eye in the place, nor among those watching on television, me among them.

MLB

--It’s early but New York baseball fans are in full panic mode.  The Yankees are off to a dreadful start, 2-4 after an admittedly solid, come-from-behind win over the Orioles on Sunday.  Their bullpen has given up some leads late, while the young stars have failed to produce.

One of those budding “superstars,” catcher Gary Sanchez, could be out a long while after he strained his bicep on a big swing Saturday night in Baltimore as part of a 5-4 loss to the Orioles.  It didn’t look good on tape and while he was placed on just the 10-day disabled list, these things can last.

To compound matters, the Yanks’ top pitching prospect, James Kaprelian, could be headed for Tommy John surgery.

The Mets are just 2-3 as I go to post, with zero offense, but they’re up 5-2 in the seventh tonight against Miami.

--Clayton Kershaw gave up three home runs in a 4-2 loss to the Rockies in Denver on Saturday, including the first time he had surrendered back-to-back homers in his career, which is remarkable; Mark Reynolds and Gerardo Parra doing the honors.  Kershaw went six innings in giving up the four runs.

--Nice to see Mike Trout off to a solid start in the power department, 2 homers and 7 RBIs, including a key two-run homer Saturday to lead the Angels to a 5-4 victory over the Mariners.  And Los Angeles won on Sunday 10-9 (though without Trout’s help), so they are 5-2.  Unfortunately, they may win just 22 more the rest of the year.

--On the way to a 17-3 lambasting of the Nationals Saturday night in Philadelphia, the Phillies scored 12 innings in the bottom of the first, ten off starter Jeremy Guthrie, leaving him with an ERA of 135.00.  This would be a terrific passer rating.

--In Friday night’s Marlins win over the Mets, 7-2, Miami pitcher Wei-yin Chen broke an 0-for-51 career hitless streak at the plate with a single off Zack Wheeler...an infield hit.

The thing is, Chen had never even walked or been hit by a pitch in his first 51 official at bats.  He’s had a few sacrifice bunts.

--I’m sure many of you saw the video clip of Tim Tebow’s first at bat for the Class A Columbia Fireflies, a two-run homer.  It is very cool if you haven’t. I would have loved to be there.

--For the record, Major League Baseball reported this past week that a record number of 259 foreign players were on April 2 opening day rosters, which means that foreign players make up 29.8 percent of the league’s 868 players, including active 25-man rosters and those on the disabled, suspended or restricted lists.

The foreign players are from 19 countries, with the Dominican Republic having the most at 93, followed by Venezuela with 77, Cuba 23, and Puerto Rico 16.

Canada has eight, Korea five.

Twins outfielder Max Kepler became the first German born player in major league history.

The Texas Rangers have the most foreign-born players with 14.

--Finally, I noted the passing of the great Washington Senators outfielder, Roy Sievers, the other day, but didn’t have time to pass along the following.

Sievers was A.L. Rookie of the Year in 1949 for the St. Louis Browns, but then in 1954, the Browns having become the Orioles, he was traded to the Senators for outfielder Gil Coan in, when looking back, may have been one of the ten worst trades in baseball history...seriously.

Coan had had respectable seasons in 1950-51 with the Senators, batting .303 both years, but by ’54 he was in serious decline.

Sievers, on the other hand, proceeded to have 4, 100-RBI seasons in five years, 1954-58, including leading the league in home runs (42) and RBI (114) in 1957, with 29 homers and 95 RBI in the other season.

After an off-year in 1959, he was traded but would go on to have four very productive seasons for the White Sox and Phillies and finished his career with 318 homers and 1,147 RBIs, to go with his .267 batting average and four All-Star team berths.

This was a great ballplayer, and a major fan favorite in Washington.

So when he was starring for the Senators it was the same time avid baseball fan Richard Nixon was vice president, and as Richard Goldstein writes in the New York Times, Nixon’s favorite was Sievers.  He was even master of ceremonies at a night for Sievers in September 1957.

“In 1959, after Nixon’s so-called Kitchen Debate with the Soviet leader Nikita S. Khruschev over the merits of capitalism versus communism at a model kitchen in an American national exhibit in Moscow, Sievers was among those at Nixon’s welcome-home party at a Washington airport.

“At the time, the Senators were in the midst of a losing streak, and when he greeted Nixon, Sievers recalled, ‘The first thing he said was, ‘What in the hell is wrong with the Senators?

“ ‘And I said, ‘Mr. Vice President, we’re just not hitting good, the pitching’s not good.’  He said, ‘I’ll be out the next night.’  Usually, when he came out we’d win the ballgame.  But we lost.’

“The Senators went on to drop 18 straight games.”

NBA

--Kevin Durant made his return to the Golden State Warriors Saturday night after missing the previous 19 games with a knee injury and he looked just fine...16 points, 10 rebounds and 6 assists in the Warriors’ 123-101 win over the Pelicans.

Golden State won its 14th straight – the longest winning streak in the NBA this season, even as Steph Curry was out with a bruised left knee.  [I should add New Orleans was playing without DeMarcus Cousins and Anthony Davis.]

--Damian Lillard of Portland had a career-high 59 points on Saturday, leading the Trail Blazers to a critical 101-86 victory over Utah.  Portland strengthened their hold on the last playoff spot in the Western Conference, moving to 1 ½ games ahead of the ninth-place Nuggets.

Good thing Lillard was on fire, 18 of 34 from the field, 9 of 14 from three, 14 of 16 from the free throw line, because the rest of the team was 19 of 57.

--Brooklyn won its 20th game of the season and has been playing very well down the stretch, 7-4 over their last 11, dealing the Chicago Bulls a critical loss in their playoff hunt, 107-106 in Brooklyn.  The Bulls fell into a tie with Miami for eighth in the East.

Miami had a critical win at Washington, 106-103, Saturday as my man James Johnson sank a critical layup with 11 seconds to play and finished with 15 points and 11 rebounds.  He’s been starting the last few for the Heat after being a Sixth Man of the Year candidate the entire season.

Milwaukee clinched a playoff berth with a 90-82 win over Philadelphia.

And Indiana pulled a game ahead of Chicago and Miami with a 127-112 win over Orlando, Demon Deac Jeff Teague dishing out 13 assists as your editor selectively doles out only the stats that make former Wake Forest alum look good.

So the standings as of Sunday in terms of the key races....

East

1. Cleveland 51-29*...Miami away, Toronto at home
2. Boston 51-29...home against Brooklyn and Milwaukee

6. Milwaukee 41-39...clinched
7. Indiana 40-40
8. Chicago 39-41
9. Miami 39-41

*Last Wednesday, Cleveland won its big matchup against Boston, 114-91, behind LeBron’s 36 points and 10 rebounds.  But Sunday, the Cavs lost to the Hawks 126-125 in OT, despite Kyrie Irving’s 45 and LeBron’s 32-16-10 triple-double.

West

1. Golden State 66-14...pulled away down the stretch
2. San Antonio 61-18...stumbling, 4-3 last seven, including a loss to the Warriors (and a brutal one to the Lakers), and Popovich is pissed.  He said his starters won’t rest the last two games even though nothing is at stake.

8. Portland 40-40
9. Denver 38-41

Not for nothing, but you’ll recall, Portland was my preseason pick to win it all.  Of course I’m sticking with it!  They’ve played much better the second half and that backcourt is still as good as any.

--Oklahoma City Thunder point guard Russell Westbrook officially became the first NBA player in 55 years, since Oscar Robertson, to average a triple-double for a season.  With season averages of 31.7 points, 10.7 rebounds and 10.4 assists, he leads the league in scoring and is on track for his second career scoring title.

Is Westbrook the league’s MVP?  A few weeks ago I would have said Kawhi Leonard, but I think you have to give it to Westbrook at this point, trying to envision playoff bound OKC without him.

As for Oscar Robertson, “The Big O,” he averaged 30.8, 12.5 rebounds and 11.4 assists in the 1961-62 season.

--Meanwhile, there is the ongoing saga of LaVar and Lonzo Ball, the latter an upcoming lottery selection.  Lonzo is going to be the first player to enter the NBA with his own sports agency after telling the Los Angeles Times’ Ben Bolch that he would be represented by fledgling agent Harrison Gaines and the newly formed Ball Sports Group headed by Ball’s father, LaVar.

“We’re trying to do things differently, add a little flavor to the game and see what we can do from there,” Lonzo said

LaVar said the family’s approach, including two younger brothers who have committed to play at UCLA, will “ruffle a few feathers, but it’s going to set a ripple effect where people might not go just the agency way as far as, OK, what really does the agent do besides declare for the draft because how are you going to negotiate a price that’s already there?

“They try to get you with the, ‘Oh, we can market him.’  If you’re already successful, they’re going to come at you anyway....They’re just going to ask me questions I already know about my boys. I might as well market them myself.  I know everything.  I’m going to market them my way and not their way.”

What a freakin’ nightmare!  Yoh, NBA GMs, you select this guy with your first pick and look out!

But wait, there’s more!

LaVar pinned UCLA’s loss to Kentucky in a regional semifinal on the number of white players in UCLA’s lineup.  He told the Southern California News Group that “realistically you can’t win no championship with three white guys because the foot speed is too slow.”

Yup, you can have Lonzo and Co.  I’ll take De’Aaron Fox.  [I know absolutely zero about presumed No. 1, Markelle Fultz; have never seen him play, but I do know his team, Washington, won all of nine games this season.]

--Wichita State announced it would join the American Athletic Conference for the next academic year, a move that would bolster its basketball prospects while helping the conference as a whole.  The Shockers have been plagued by seeding slights come NCAA tournament time because of their weak Missouri Valley Conference opposition.

The Missouri Valley was ranked 12th in RPI, while the AAC was ranked seventh this past season.

Only two AAC teams (SMU and Cincinnati) made the tournament this past season, but it does include perennial tourney teams Memphis, UConn and Temple, plus Houston.

But once again, the poor MVC suffers a huge loss; Creighton having joined the new Big East in 2013.

--Patrick Ewing was interviewed on “The Sports Junkies,” talking about his taking the Georgetown coaching job.

“I’ve always thought about coming back to the city,” he said.  “I didn’t think it was going to be back coaching the Hoyas. Maybe the Wizards. But I’m back, it’s a great opportunity.  I do have to say this, though. The only reason I’m back in college is because it’s Georgetown. If it was any other university, I would probably say no.  I just thought that this was a great fit, a great opportunity....I helped lay the foundation to get this program where it got.”

My friend Jimbo, with Georgetown connections, said Ewing only got the job because others under contemplation told the AD that they wouldn’t take the job unless John Thompson Jr. (the senior) wasn’t hanging around all the time.

Jimbo and I agree we don’t see this going well.  My point has been Ewing has zero college experience.

--The home of the most storied high school boys basketball program in the state of New Jersey, St. Anthony’s, is being forced to close its doors due to a lack of funding and dwindling enrollment, as announced by Bob Hurley Sr., the school’s president and basketball team’s Hall of Fame coach.

“It is with enormous regret that we announce today that in our negotiations with the archdiocese there were too many things that we were unable to do with increasing student enrollment, having some money long-term and satisfying some of our debt to the archdiocese,” Hurley said.  “So that at the end of the school year, we will be closing.”

Just a few months ago it was felt the school had raised enough money to stay in existence at least another year, but the fundraising effort wasn’t enough.

St. Anthony opened in 1952 and Hurley took over as head basketball coach in 1972.  Over the next four decades he built the Friars into arguably the most successful program in all of America.

New Jersey’s Tournament of Champions has been played 28 times, and St. Anthony won 13 of them.  Eight Hurley teams went undefeated, despite playing a heavy national schedule the past few decades.

Four of his squads won national championships. 

Hurley was elected to the Basketball Hall of Fame in 2010.

Premier League

Two big games last Wednesday, after I last posted.

Chelsea won a huge contest, 2-1 over Manchester City at Stamford Bridge behind the great Eden Hazard’s double, while at Swansea, Tottenham found itself down 1-0 with 88 minutes gone – and won 3-1!

Tottenham proved that this year is different. It isn’t satisfied with just finishing in the Top Four and gaining a Champions League berth.  They have a history of collapsing late, coming up short in big moments, but lately they’ve been clutch city, despite playing without superstar Harry Kane and other key performers.

So a potential gap of 10 points between 1 Chelsea and 2 Tottenham was back to 7, giving the Spurs a glimmer of hope.

Saturday....Tottenham whipped Watford 4-0, while Chelsea handled Bournemouth 3-1, so the gap remained 7.  Tottenham has now gone 10 wins, 2 draws and 1 loss in its last 13 league games and actually has fewer losses on the season with 3 than Chelsea does (4).

Also Saturday, Man City beat Hull 3-1, and Liverpool edged Stoke 2-1.

 Sunday, Manchester United dominated last place Sunderland 3-0, while Everton had a big 4-2 home win vs. Leicester City, the first loss for Leicester coach Craig Shakespeare.  There were four goals in the first 23 minutes of this one, 2-2...great stuff.  Everton’s Lukaku had two goals to get to 23, tops in the Premier League.

Monday, Arsenal is at Crystal Palace, big one for both.

Standings....    

1. Chelsea 31 matches, 75 points
2. Tottenham 31 – 68
3. Liverpool 32 – 63
4. Manchester City 31 – 61
5. Manchester United 30 – 57 
6. Arsenal 29 – 54
7. Everton 32 – 54

In the relegation battle....

16. Crystal Palace 30 – 31
17. Hull City 32 – 30
18. Swansea 32 – 28
19. Middlesbrough 31 – 24
20. Sunderland 31 – 20 

Hockey

The NHL playoffs start this week and Rangers fans have zero expectations as we square off against Montreal.  As in no one will be  surprised if they get swept.  They’ve been miserable down the stretch, winning just four of their last 14.

Meanwhile, in College Hockey at the Frozen Four, Denver defeated Minnesota Duluth in the final on Saturday, 3-2, and I’m kicking myself for not catching the ending.  I had it written down to watch it, which would have been after the Masters’ coverage, but this is what happens when you fail to put post-its smack in your face on the TV and computer screen, boys and girls.  Let that be a lesson to you!

Anyway, Jarid Lukosevicius scored all three goals in the second period, while goalie Tanner Faillet made 38 saves as Denver moved into a tie with North Dakota for second on the NCAA list with eight men’s hockey titles, trailing only Michigan with nine.  Last year the Pioneers made it to the Frozen Four, only to lose to Minn. Duluth in the semifinals.  It’s Denver’s first championship since 2005.

NFL

Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger announced he would return for the 2017 season, which is hardly a surprise, but we were still waiting for a formal announcement. It will be Big Ben’s 14th season in Pittsburgh.  He turned 35 last month.

Coach Mike Tomlin said in a statement: “There is no question Ben wants to win championships for the Pittsburgh Steelers, and we know he will do everything possible to lead our entire team to achieving that goal.”

Don Rickles

The one-of-a-kind stand-up comic died Thursday at the age of 90.  As Don Steinberg wrote in the Wall Street Journal, Rickles “worked in rapid-fire insults the way Monet worked in oils, pioneering a caustic form of comedy that influenced generations of later comics.

“Beginning his career in the 1950s, Mr. Rickles became beloved by being abrasive. He managed to win over audiences by insulting them and brought crowds together in laughter even as he included otherwise divisive ethnic stereotypes. He called people ‘dummy’ or the dirty-sounding epithet ‘hockey puck,’ though he could work ‘clean’ as well as anyone....

“Mr. Rickles made a living speaking zingers to power.  In 1976, Mr. Rickles walked out of the TV studio wings of ‘The Tonight Show’ to surprise his pal Frank Sinatra who was chatting with Johnny Carson live.  Mr. Rickles kissed Mr. Sinatra on the lips and teased him with Mafia jokes.  (Mr. Rickles was an honorary member of the ‘rat pack,’ which included Mr. Sinatra, Dean Martin and Sammy Davis Jr.).

He entertained Ronald and Nancy Reagan during festivities for the president’s second inauguration in 1985.  “It’s a big treat for me to fly all the way here from California to be here for this kind of money,’ he joked, and dropped the microphone.  Later, turning to the President after a series of quips, he said: ‘Is this too fast, Ronnie?’”  [Ed. Reagan was in stitches.  Imagine Trump’s reaction...oh, how we miss Ronnie.]

Rickles had recorded the voice of Mr. Potato Head for “Toy Story 4,” slated for release in 2019, after voicing the character for the animated franchise’s three prior films.  “It’s a fun thing to do. Because there’s no makeup.  You sit in a booth like a moron,” he said in a 2013 interview.

Steinberg:

“Born in Queens, New York, in 1926, Mr. Rickles studied drama before trying stand-up comedy in New York, Miami, Los Angeles, and later Las Vegas.  ‘I couldn’t tell a joke, that’s why I started talking to the audience,’ he explained.  Few comics were talking to the audience – or heckling the crowd – as he did, and he never knew quite how a performance would turn out. ‘It’s not something you rehearse. It’s all personality.  But I’ve never been mean-spirited,’ he said.

“Early in his career he was performing at a club in Los Angeles in 1956 when he saw Mr. Sinatra and, according to legend, yelled ‘I say this from my heart.  Frank, your voice is gone.  It’s all over for you, you’re making a fool of yourself.’”

Actually, Dennis McLellan of the Los Angeles Times says the above incident in question was as follows:

“(Rickles) was a relatively unknown comic performing at Murray Franklin’s, a small club in Miami Beach, in the 1950s when Frank Sinatra came in with his entourage.

“ ‘Make yourself comfortable, Frank – hit somebody,’ said Rickles as the notoriously moody singer paused then broke up with laughter.

“Pressing on, Rickles said: ‘Frank, believe me, I’m telling you this as a friend: Your voice is gone.’

“Sinatra, who later took to affectionately calling Rickles ‘Bullethead,’ became one of the comic’s biggest boosters.”

This is why I always try to read at least two sources on stories of this kind.

McLellan:

“By the early 1960s, Rickles was an institution at the Sahara Hotel’s famous Casbar Lounge, where he’d score big laughs needling the celebrities who regularly showed up to see his shows and relished being the targets of his barbs.

“As Dean Martin once told the comic’s audience at the Casbar: ‘Don Rickles is the funniest man in show business. But don’t go by me; I’m drunk.’”

Rickles was seen as too risky for television, but that all changed in 1965 with his first of what would be 100 performances on Johnny Carson’s “Tonight Show.”

“Hi, dum, dum,” Rickles greeted the King of Late Night.

“Interrupting Carson’s attempt to respond, Rickles barked, ‘Where does it say you butt in, dummy? I’m fed up with you already, you know that?’

“As Carson broke up, Rickles continued: ‘That’s it, laugh it up. You’re making fifty million dollars a year and your poor parents are back in Nebraska eating locusts for dinner.’

“Carson and the audience howled.”  [McLellan]

After that, Rickles went national, becoming a regular on “The Dean Martin Celebrity Roast” shows, which were terrific, back in the day.

Tim Kreider / New York Times

“A few months ago, to surprise a friend on his 50th birthday, I took him to see his ‘last living hero’ – Don Rickles, much beloved in the 1960s and ‘70s as ‘the insult comic.’

“Mr. Rickles, who died on Thursday at 90, gave his performance from a wheelchair, crippled by necrotizing fasciitis – ‘It’s a disease that eats Jews,’ he explained.  He was like a coelacanth brought up from a bygone geologic era of comedy. When someone in the audience stood up and  cheered, fists raised, he snapped: ‘It’s not a rally, ya Polack.  Siddown.’ The last time I heard ‘Polack’ used as a generic insult was circa sixth grade; it was like hearing someone called a ‘jive turkey’ again.

When I was a kid, this kind of humor was very much in vogue: ‘All in the Family,’ whose main character was a grouchy, loudmouthed bigot, was the highest-rated show on American TV; Mel Brooks’ ‘Blazing Saddles,’ a crazed fable about a black sheriff in a frontier town, was one of a handful of films in history to gross over $100 million.  [Ed: at this point in time.]  I, a little suburban white kid, watched sitcoms about poor black people in the ghetto.  Perhaps the most improbable part of all this is that there were ever TV shows about poor people.

“It seems to me now as if there was a window of just a few years, after the upheavals and victories of the civil rights movement and before the rebranded and gentrified racism of the Reagan era, when racial tensions relaxed slightly, and it felt briefly, exhilaratingly O.K. to make fun of race relations in this country.  The fact that Mr. Rickles was able to speak those slurs onstage may be a sign not of his era’s ignorance but of its fleeting liberation.  Though let’s bear in mind that I was 8 and possibly not keenly attuned to the sociopolitical zeitgeist.

Ours is a more humorless, censorious age.  We now live in fear of being ‘called out’ – the American equivalent of being denounced as a counterrevolutionary, except instead of being forced to wear a dunce cap in the town square, you get called names on the internet.  I teach at a liberal arts college, pretty much ground zero for the culture of political correctness. Not any of my students actually seem to like this inhibiting atmosphere, and it isn’t clear who’s enforcing it, but they all have to live in it.”

I think Mr. Kreider has nailed it.

I was looking forward to watching Louis C.K. on SNL last night, but his monologue wasn’t the best.  That said, I love comics like him, and Chris Rock, who aren’t afraid to cross the line these days.  But as Kreider notes, yes, yours truly has to constantly watch what I write, and that sucks.

More Rickles....

At a tribute to Clint Eastwood: “Clint, I’m sorry, but I just gotta say what’s on everybody’s mind here.  You’re a terrible actor.”

While roasting Bob Hope: “We kid about great stars such as you Bob, why?  Because you’re old and washed up.”

To Ronald Reagan at his second inauguration: “Remember when you were governor and you used to walk over to my table?  Now you’re big and you’re getting on my nerves.”

From the New York Post’s Page Six:

“George Schlater, the producer of classic sketch-comedy TV show ‘Rowan & Martin’s Laugh-In,’ says Don Rickles was the only comic in showbiz who could get away with razzing Frank Sinatra.

“ ‘He could tease presidents and first ladies. He could say things to Frank Sinatra that no one could say to Sinatra. He could walk in and Frank would start to laugh.’”

Robert Lloyd / Los Angeles Times

“Although his comedy often skewered difference, whether it was a person’s race or age, or religion or some minor quirk of personality or physical characteristic – Rickles would never go after the truly disabled or disadvantaged.  It would be a mistake to see his signature ad hominem attack comedy as anything but ironic.

“The underlying point of his professional ecumenical disregard for his fellow humans is that the very state of being different is something we all share.  (‘It doesn’t matter to me what you are, you’re a human being,’ he says to one lucky, luckless audience member.  ‘I don’t ever want to see you again.’)

“What does he leaves us?  A reminder that we can always take ourselves less seriously.  That there is a difference between a jab thrown in knowing jest and one made out of hateful ignorance – and we should be smart enough to know the difference.  All that and a lot of laughs.”

Stuff

--In this week’s NASCAR race at Texas Motor Speedway, Fort Worth, Jimmie Johnson won the 81st of his career over Kyle Larson.  Johnson and team were off to a miserable start, with just one top-10 finish in the first six races, but we’re talkin’ Jimmie Johnson, folks.

--Mercedes driver Lewis Hamilton dominated the Chinese Grand Prix to take his first win of the year, defeating Ferrari’s Sebastian Vettel as it’s pretty clear these two will be dueling it out the entire season.

--As we gear up for the Kentucky Derby, there were three key prep races on Saturday, with next week’s Arkansas Derby the last one before the first Saturday in May and the Running for the Roses. [Had to throw in a cliché there.]

A field of 13, the largest in 36 years, assembled for the Santa Anita Derby because the favorite from a month earlier, Bob Baffert’s Mastery, is out with a leg fracture.  So some of the trainers felt free to enter any what they thought were competent 3-year-olds to see what would happen and trainer John Shirreffs’ Gormley won the race ahead of Battle of Midway.

Shirreff has just one Kentucky Derby winner and that was a dozen years ago with Giacomo at 50-1 odds.  But Gormley is piloted by Victor Espinoza who steered American Pharaoh to the Triple Crown in 2015, as well as Derby and Preakness wins aboard California Chrome in 2014.

Baffert may be absent from the Derby for only the second time in 10 years as the field is determined by points accumulated in the leading prep races and he doesn’t have a qualifying horse, plus he’s not running one in the Arkansas Derby...as of now.  [Mike Tierney / New York Times]

In the Wood Memorial at Aqueduct, Irish War Cry beat slightly favored Battalion Runner, with both probably headed for the Derby.

And in the Blue Grass Stakes at Keeneland in Lexington, Ky., a long-shot, Irap, trained by Doug O’Neill, defeated Practical Joke, with both also qualifying to head to Churchill Downs.

Seems to these amateur eyes that this is going to be an outrageously competitive, anyone can win, Derby.  I’m envisioning five battling down the stretch, which would be a dream.  Of course that could also mean the winner would have little left for the Preakness just two weeks later.

And that is your amateur racing report for April 9.

--An investigation by Coastal Carolina University into alleged misdeeds by its cheerleaders found that some went on dates with “Sugar Daddies,” while another worked as a shot girl at a strip joint. 

But there are other misdeeds, alleged by a “Concerned Parent,” who sent an anonymous letter to the school’s president, David Decenzo.

So the entire cheerleading team has been suspended while the investigation continues, though one anonymous team member told WMBF in Myrtle Beach that school police officers had informed the cheerleaders that they had done nothing wrong.  [Washington Post]

Personally, I never met a shot girl I didn’t like, except for the one in New Orleans who stained my white dress shirt when she.....

Oops, I forgot inspectors from the International Web Site Association are doing their annual tour of StocksandNews’ global headquarters this weekend.  Gotta be prudent.

--In case you wanted yet another reason why ‘Man’ remains mired in the 350s on the All-Species List, and you don’t want to bring up the likes of Syria, here’s a good one.

From the San Diego Union-Tribune:

“It was just before noon on a recent Sunday morning and a line had formed for the port-a-potties near the Wildflower Trail at Diamond Valley Lake in Riverside County.  Cars were backed up around a bend in the road, and frustrated people resorted to parking two miles away and walking in.

“They had come to see the ‘super bloom,’ of wildflowers that have sprung up around the trails snaking around this drinking water reservoir.  People are excited to take pictures of the flowers and themselves among the flowers, and many areas have been trampled.

“As a result, a half-mile section of the trail has been closed indefinitely.  ‘We haven’t seen these kinds of crowds. Ever,’ said Wendy Picht, an environmental specialist for the Metropolitan Water District, which manages the lake.”

Geezuz, what freakin’ jerks! 

It’s upsetting to see the destruction,” said Alex Marks, another MWD environmental specialist.  “ ‘Cause you can stand back and you can see the beauty of it without getting so close and trampling everything.”

That’s it...I’m demoting ‘Man’ a full 10 spots to No. 361.

Stanley Cup Quiz Answers: 1) The Detroit Red Wings are the last repeat champions, 1997, ’98.  2) Toronto last won the Cup in 1967.

Top 3 songs for the week of 4/3/71:  #1 “Just My Imagination (Running Away With Me)” (The Temptations)  #2 “Me And Bobby McGee” (Janis Joplin)  #3 “For All We Know” (Carpenters)... and...#4 “She’s A Lady” (Tom Jones)  #5 “What’s Going On” (Marvin Gaye)  #6 “Proud Mary” (Ike & Tina Turner)  #7 “Doesn’t Somebody Want To Be Wanted” (The Partridge Family)  #8 “Help Me Make It Through The Night” (Samuel Smith)  #9 “(Where Do I Begin) Love Story” (Andy Williams)  #10 “Another Day” (Paul McCartney)

***PBS’ “American Experience” has a 3-night event, “The Great War,” starting Monday, 9:00 ET.

Next Bar Chat, Thursday.